"Don't Kill My Friend!"

This last week we have experienced an infestation of flies. We haven't had hardly any since spring and just this last week we had THREE at once in our house. They are annoying, unclean, multiplying, and did I mention, annoying!

So I was sitting down reading one afternoon while Josh was down for a nap and Sydney was at Nan & Pa's house. I was enjoying the still that
comes when you go from three children to one when Ryan starting freaking out.
"Oh no! Oh NO! Oh NO!"

"What Ryan?" I asked lazily. Like the bad mother that I am, I was only half paying attention since I was slightly more interested in my book.

"A spider Mom!"

That got my attention!

"Where?!"

"See, it's flying right there."

The word flying instantly calmed my nerves and reminded me that Ryan likes to call flies "spiders". So trying to defuse the situation as quickly as possible without having to get up or find my bookmark, I said, "Calm down it is just a fly."

"Bu-bu-bu-bu-but Mo-uhm it's on my star blanky!" (Poor Ryan has developed a stutter from spending most of his time around two very talkative females who rarely let him get a word in edgewise.)

Again trying to make the situation go away with minimal effort on my part I say, "Well why don't you share your star blanky with him? Maybe he's cold."

Silence....

"Mom! I-I-I-I-I'm sharing my blanky with my new friend look!" Sure enough there was a fly sitting on Ryan's blanket. (I was planning to wash it that day anyway.)

Well problem solved and I get a gold star for being the MOST CREATIVE MOM EVER! Not so fast. Later that day I'd finally lost my patience with all flying, buzzing, filthy house guests and spread my hands apart poised to kill fly numero uno. When what should I hear?

"Mom! DON'T KILL MY FRIEND!" So I reluctantly retracted my leathal weapons and apologized for not realizing that this particular fly was Ryan's friend.

I thought this would pass and I could go back to swatting flies at will. However, not until today could I can finally relax in complete silence without a constant buzzing or tickle from a fly landing on me. Why? Because all three flies have finally died of natural causes. Up until this point anytime Sydney complained about how scary the bugs were Ryan would say, "Sissy be nice, they're my friends." Or if Josh used one of the few words he knows, "NO!" and pointed at one of the flies, Ryan would say, "Not nice Joshy! That's my friend!" Or if Ben would unknowingly swat at one of them, Ryan would warn him, "Dad you can't do that! That's my friend, Dad!" I just plain knew better than to let him catch me trying to rid them from our house. Even one night this week, while we were eating dinner, Ryan looked up at the lights above the table where all three flies were waiting to swoop down and take a nibble and said "Look! There's my friends guys!"

All of you who know or are parents of tender-hearted children, be warned, 'bugs are our friends' is not a good motto to live by. Luckily Ryan doesn't know what Gemtek Pest Control does to all our other bugs :)!

(See Dad, there's two up there!)

Downside to an Adorable Daughter

I’m going to quickly quote one of my favorite relatives, Troy Felt, who told us that when his daughter became a teenager he planned on sabotaging her.
“I’m going to put oil in her face wash and Nair in her shampoo.”
His daughter was four at the time, oddly enough the same age my daughter is now. I thought his daughter was adorable but wondered why he would already be worrying about his daughter dating at such an early age. NOW I KNOW!
I was headed into Gold’s Gym the other day with three small children in tow. It’s never the most graceful process and usually draws attention regardless. This day however, we were all fairly well behaved. Ryan, my three year old, loves to open and hold the door. Sydney, my daughter who is absolutely adorable (says her mother), was running after Ryan.
About the same time we were getting to the front doors two large, muscular guys were heading out. They were both pretty good looking and one had the tough guy look with tattoos running up one arm. Not the type to stop and comment on how cute your kids are if you know what I’m saying.
Ryan opened the door for them and Sydney wasn’t looking and almost ran into them. They both jumped out of the way and immediately started commenting on how cute she was. One of these guys still was looking over his shoulder at Sydney and NAILED a stationary light post that was sticking up from the walk way.
These light posts are about three feet high and are all heavy duty metal material. This poor guy hit it at crotch level walking at a swift speed. Not only did it knock the wind out of him but it knocked the top off the light. It went flying and hit the cement with a loud CLANK-CLANK-CLANK. This of course got the attention of everyone else outside of the gym. I wish I could have helped him. After all he did seem nice but I had to slip into the gym so I could let out the laughter that I could no longer contain.
I am very worried since then though. My daughter is four and already has the power to turn strange men’s heads? What happens when she turns into a teenager? CRAP!

Troy can I borrow some of that oil?